Threshold: Mizraim, Midraash and Hineini
These words.. Mizraim, Midraash, Hineini and threshold have been hitting me in a deep way over the last few months. If you know me, you likely know I'm a podcast fanatic. Rabbi Joel, a guest on the RobCast, presented these rich and beautiful Hebrew words earlier on this year. Tonight I reflect on Mizraim, a word for Egypt, or the narrow space. A word that begs the question "What is it you need to leave behind in order to be free?" So while I've now walked the streets of Budapest, Bodrogkeresztúr and Pécs for weeks now, while I've packed and unpacked my bags and started my work, I'm still left considering this question. What is it I need to leave behind to be free? I've already left behind my bike, car, closet, favorite coffee shops, friends, and family and I know that these things aren't the answer to the question. Family.. friends, I miss you and send my love! You offer me steady ground and the strength necessary for me to embrace my YAGM year fully while exploring this question in a deeper way. So far I've found that what I need to leave behind is my fear of expression, my self-doubts and my sense of separateness. Each day I wake up, I reaffirm my quest for freedom. I ask myself to leave behind all those things that are no longer serving me on my search for Divine love and connection. For what really is freedom? Freedom is my ability to be present with a child, to offer my hands and heart humbly here in Hungary, and to be truly present with the ups and downs of life. So in this moment, I choose to leave behind my fear of expression as I prepare to share these first posts. I choose to leave behind my doubts and fears, so that I may step in to relationship with my community here. And I choose to let go of judgments and expectations of what this year should or shouldn't be, in order to truly be here, be present, and be free.
Top Photo: Two of my wonderful mentors, Barbara and Patrick took me to the overlook view of Pécs, our home city!
Bottom Photo: A photo taken from a walk to the overlook at Bodrogkeresztúr, where we had our in country orientation.
